Change: Habit Exercise

Change: To become or make different . . . When one embarks on taking steps towards altering something in their life, generally our habits or practices we engage in on a constant basis is what we try to work on. Altering habits may help bring about change for a particular goal or objective, but is not necessarily equivalent to transformation.

Changing habits, whether that is thoughts, words and actions, are part of a process. Habits are patterns of practices we engage in.  Observing habits and adjusting habits is part of the a change process.

Notebook exercise:

Part I:

1)      Create 2 columns: one, for positive habits (as per your personal perception); and, the second column for negative habits. List a few or as many as you wish, but keep it as simple as possible for now.

2)      Beside each habit on your list check mark what you consider to be unconscious habits.

Remember, no one will know your habits as you know what you do.  

Part II:

1)      Create another list with again 2 columns.  This time ask a friend or someone who knows you well (not a relative or family member at this time) to list a few positive habits they know you have and some not-so-good.

Suggestion: Make some time to meet up with a friend for a coffee/tea and spend some social time to relax and chat. I suggest this should be one friend, or one friend at a time. Share your exercise and ask them for their help with a list which they can forward to you at their leisure. There should be no time limit or pressure. Enjoy your time with your friend. Remember, this is not about work, or a deadline. Do not ask your friend to discuss the list or their perceived views on your habits during your meet-up.

Keep in mind that the list you receive will be your friend’s perception which you may feel is not accurate. Be objective, and don’t take anything personally if you disagree with what is on the list, be it positive or negative. This is an exercise which definitely will reveal the mystery of perception.

To reiterate:  No one will know your habits as you do, so you will be getting someone’s perception of your habits. There may be some criticism but set that aside. You are using this as a tool. Habits don’t define who you ultimately are.  No one is walking in your shoes, remember this.

If you were ambitious and you decided to meet a few close friends on several occasions, then you may be able to glean a pattern in how your habits are perceived by others.

3)      Once you have received your lists, compare your list with the list of friends’. This is not an exercise about agreeing or disagreeing. It is about perception. Perception is subjective; however maintain a level of objectivity.

4)      After reviewing the lists, number your habits from high (best) to low habits (less productive). Choose the habits that work best for you and choose the habits that do not work.

5)      Beside each habit on the other list(s) check mark all the unconscious habits.

Aside:

If you wish to do this exercise without any other person’s input, that is fine as well, but the effectiveness may not be the same. It is fundamental to compare your list to another’s because another’s perception may open up new avenues of approaching your unconscious habits by consciously taking steps to either enhance or eliminate individual patterns. Ultimately, developing our mental awareness of our patterns of everyday behaviour, thinking, etc. can positively affect our ability to create modifications to personal patterns.

This is not about achieving some sort of perfection; this is about enhancing your flexibility and propensity towards change. If you are considering your work habits, this exercise can be applied.

(Application to work environments and professional settings is on a different level of analysis, and the purpose of this exercise is an opportunity to apply some basic steps towards personal transformation).

 If you wish to attain an in-depth analysis and guidance with professional analysis please check out my consultation page. Please also note that this is not about life coaching though this analysis style may aid in that area.

6)      Your list of unconscious habits: place an X mark beside habits that are undesirable to you. Take some time and write why the habit is undesirable.

 I suggest you separate your time with this activity and again set aside some relaxed time to do this part. Set aside a few hours on a day when you are not busy. Sit in your favourite spot in your home, relax with a cup of coco or whatever you fancy and don’t worry if the exercise makes you sleepy. Take a nap and come back to it.